Day 1

A few months ago my husband received a call from his best friend. The best friend led with "I just joined a new club!" My husband was excited for his long-time friend thinking it was a golf club, supper club or similar. His friend continued, "It's the 'I've had a heart attack club.'"

I keep coming back to this story because I have now joined a club I never envisioned being part of. It's the "My Daughter Has an Eating Disorder Club."

She told me last night after a friend of hers threatened to tell us herself. This child is very private and does not like to ask for help. I listened. And I listened more.

How could I have missed this? I feel like I have failed her. She told me that she started giving away her lunches in elementary school. 

In high school I thought she was too thin. I suspected disordered eating and talked to a few people I knew had been through it. Then I took her to a nutritionist and she seemed to be doing better. I thought I had fixed the problem.

She just finished her first year at college and has been suffering from depression and anxiety. At school she got on medication and saw a therapist but the meds aren't working and she didn't like the therapist. She got migraines at finals and I arranged for her to see a doctor here to sort that out.

I did a bunch of online research today and she has an appointment with her doctor tomorrow. 

I am scared. So, so scared. But it is Day 1 and she will get better. She HAS to get better.